First, the housekeeping part of this post; I have decided to stream-line the blog a bit. Mondays will still be posts about life and God; I’ll just be incorporating the Monday and Friday post into one single post. Wednesdays will be a recipe day and Friday will be a DIY or homemaking project of some sort, whatever I think is a really cool idea. And that’s the gist of it, same basics covered, just stream-lined like I said.
Ok, enough with the housekeeping; on to the point of this post. Last night, I had a quiet night alone because my husband was “camping” in our trailer in the front yard; so the night was mine. I was in the blessed silence, talking to God when I started to really think about how far I have come over the last five years or so. Before I returned to God, I was a disaster. I had an addiction and I was abusing prescription drugs in order to dull the pain I was in. I remember taking my shower daily, crying to God begging Him to obliterate me. No heaven or hell, just wipe me from existence. And as that old ad once went, I’ve come a long way, baby! Here I am now, running two businesses and at least not pulling my hair out. I may not be racking in the dough, but I am keeping busy, and with hard work, enthusiasm and determination, I will succeed. I have my assistant business that has become something I never intended it to be, but any good business owner will tell you, it’s all about adapting. Then, of course, is the Mary Kay consulting business; which is so outside of my comfort zone it’s crazy. Not so long ago, I would have told you it was ludicrous to think I would have such a business, and I have only just begun, but it is actually fun. My husband, God bless him, doesn’t care about the money that I bring in, he wants me to have fun doing what I am doing; which is a really supportive thing for me. He asked me the other day how one of my skin care classes went and I told him how much I sold and he said he didn’t care about that, did I enjoy it, that’s what he wanted to know. A good husband is worth his weight in gold!
Anyway, my point is that I have changed drastically in the five or so years since I returned to God and let Him be my CEO and priority. Do I still struggle with the bipolar? Of course, it will be with me the rest of my life and it has an effect on how I see the world. You see, it is very important for me to start to see the world with enthusiasm and positivity, which does not come easy for me. I have always tended toward the negative, which I think is just basic human nature. It takes training to think positively and to be enthusiastic about life. It’s all about perspective. My former minister and I had several conversations about this very thing, and he told me to carry a quarter in my pocket at all times to remind myself of one very simple idea. That with every circumstance, there are two sides to the same thing. There is the negative and the positive and the quarter was to remind me to change my thinking from the negative to the positive. Not easy to do, but necessary if you want to enjoy the life God has given you and make the most of your time here on this planet. So, if you take away anything from this post, please take away the quarter idea. Carry one around with you as a reminder that when the negative thoughts start bombarding you, flip it over and find the positive thoughts – they are there, maybe just a whisper right now, but with practice, they will get louder!
Blessings to you all,