I just don’t know what to do, so I’m going to try to work it out here

I just don’t know what to do, so I’m going to try to work it out here

Ok, as you all know I became a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant about a month and a half ago; it has been no bed of roses for me I can tell you.  Don’t get me wrong, Mary Kay is a great company and has great products that I just love, truly.  But you see I’m a pretty good actress, so my recruiter sees only what I want her to see and that is that everything is hunky dory or at least as much as I can make it seem; my husband, however, sees behind the mask, backstage and knows that this has been an emotional roller coaster for me and that is never a good thing when you’re already on one due to mental illness.  My husband has seen all the tears, my recruiter has not.  So, I’m trying to decide if I want to continue with this Mary Kay thing or just call it quits and be done with it.  The problem is I’m conflicted and I need to make a decision soon.  So, the question I’ve been asking myself is if I would regret walking away so soon after starting it or would I feel relieved?  And that is where the conflict comes in because as far as I can tell the answer is both.

My husband is thinking I should quit because all he wants is a happy wife to come home to and I have not been that at all.  He also thinks that this whole Mary Kay thing is just not for me with the personality that I have, he knows that I could do it, but he doesn’t think it’s been the fun hobby it was supposed to be.  You see, my nature is very introverted, as you all know, and I would much prefer to be home with my animals reading, writing, doing housework even – anything but out in public plastering a smile on my face saying hi to people I don’t know.  I’m just not a people-person; I’m an animal-person!  I’d rather talk to a dog than a person; let’s just leave it at that.  Not that there’s anything wrong with people, I just have always tended to avoid them.  So, why on God’s green Earth did I decide that being a Mary Kay Consultant was a good choice for me?  I thought that I needed to stretch out of my comfort zone and have more confidence with people and I thought Mary Kay was the vehicle for that change.  I still do too, it’s just I underestimated how uncomfortable that change would be.

I also know that I have not been working it the way I should be.  We have these things called facial boxes that we put around in local businesses that offer complimentary facials with, usually, a gift certificate with initial purchase type thing, all you do is fill out a short form and put your name in the box.  I know of consultants with over 20 boxes out and are getting all kinds of leads and bookings as a result of being out there really working hard.  And congratulations to their success, they’ve earned it!  Now, I have two out and they are doing nothing for me.   I have a wonderful friend who offered to drive me around the parts of town that I don’t know much about to get more boxes out there.  As I have been told, it’s all in the numbers.  The more people I reach, the more yeses I get, that kind of thing.  And I totally get that, I do.  So, why haven’t I put out all kinds of boxes all over town?  That’s a good question that I don’t have much of an answer to, other than I just don’t care much.  Shouldn’t that be a good indication that I’m just not that into this whole thing? Would I feel differently about things if I had a bunch of boxes out and had leads galore and making a booking a day and selling several hundred dollars a week?  I would think that I probably would, unless that would just be more than I can handle and lead to more stress and tears. Let me put it this way, with my other business, I work on average twice a week for two different women and I work 2 hours in the morning with one then have a hour break then two hours in the afternoon with the other one, and there are days when that is more stress than I can handle and I have trouble with the tears.  So, would more success really make me happier?  I just don’t know, but somehow I doubt it.

As you can probably tell by this post, I am all over the place about what to do.  One moment, I’m telling myself to walk away and the next moment I am telling myself to try harder and give it a chance.  And I could poll all my friends and family and get different answers from them all, and in the end, still have to make the decision myself, because no one can do it for me.  I plan on spending time in prayer and really think about this, because I don’t want to do anything rash.  I tried very hard to think this through when I signed up to be a Mary Kay Consultant and I need to put a lot of thought into what I want to do now.  I had hoped hashing it out in this post would help, but unfortunately, it hasn’t.  I’m still conflicted.  Maybe, I just need to let it go for a couple of hours and just cuddle up with my dog and read a good book and let my subconscious work on this for a while.  Ultimately, it’s in God’s hands and He already has an answer for me, I just have to be quiet enough to hear it.  Thanks for reading and if you have any advice I would love to hear it!

Blessings to you all,

Elizabeth

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Making sure your priorities are in order

Making sure your priorities are in order

I will be the first to admit when things have been out of whack for me; and I assure you that they have been recently.  I tend to be obsessive, maybe it’s just me or my bipolar tendencies, but it can be bad.  Ever since I started this Mary Kay thing, I have been obsessed with it and it has wreaked havoc with me emotionally.  I was attracted to the idea of Mary Kay because of the company’s philosophies.  Mainly, God first, family second and career third.  You’d think that since that was the compelling reason I wanted to be a consultant that I would have that under control.  But, nope!  Now, I don’t know about you but when things are out of whack with me it doesn’t take long before it takes an emotional toll on me enough for me to realize things are just not okay.  This past Monday was my wake-up call; I had planned to do all these things for my businesses and woke up instead and spent the morning crying, so depressed.  I was just out of control and I remember praying to God for help, for help in thinking what He wanted me to.  Soon, I realized that my priorities were not in order and that I had taken the whole Mary Kay thing way too serious and it was affecting the other roles of my life.

You see, I take my role as homemaker very seriously.  I had convinced myself that I would be this fancy career woman and have a housekeeper.  First, I have never been that into being a career woman, I mean if it happens fine, but I’m not going to spend the time and effort to make it happen.  Second, taking care of the house is my job, period.  Yes, I know I sound old-fashioned but that is because I am.  My husband helps around the house, but the core of the upkeep still falls on my shoulders.  That whole God first, family second, career third had been thrown out the window.  That is why I was so out of whack, I wasn’t thinking and living according to my priorities.  When God is first in your life, everything else just falls into place.  I was sitting in church unable to concentrate on the proceedings because I was thinking about Mary Kay and how to grow the business, etc.  Not proud, but it’s true.

I guess the point is that you have to live life according to your priorities or you are in for a world of hurt.  How you believe should dictate your every action, your every thought.  I had gotten so out of sync with my priorities that I had a little mini-breakdown, so I don’t recommend that route at all.  Live according to what is important to you and things will be a lot better.  Ever since I re-evaluated my priorities and got things straightened out, I have been much happier.  My recruiter even said I looked radiant.  I am at peace and very grateful for how my life is going right now.  A grateful heart is a very good thing to have because it affects your attitude.  My attitude has definitely improved!  I still am doing both businesses, but I consider them the distant third priority that they are supposed to be.  Being a homemaker makes me happy, gives me contentment.  I suggest that you spend a few minutes and really think about your priorities and then arrange your life to go along with those priorities.  That’s my suggestion, and I learned that the hard way!

Blessings to you all,

Elizabeth

Dealing with my limitations

Dealing with my limitations

This past week I have dealt with some limitations, and did my best to work through them with relative success, thanks to God because I am nothing without Him.  Most of the week was okay, still working on that whole staying positive thing I talked about last week.  Easier said than done, but not impossible.  The thing is that the negativity can be so insipid you don’t even realize you’re in it until you realize you feel like crap and consider everything as hopeless, and then you can work on flipping the quarter and trying to find the good in the situation.  But that is not what this post is about.

The days I realized I was limited was last Thursday and Friday.  This past Thursday, my Mary Kay recruiter and I went to a strip mall and walked into several businesses to gather leads and have a contest.  My recruiter was able to just walk on in and start up a conversation with a total stranger as if they were long-lost friends and get the lead and just all around nail it.  I, on the other hand, was nervous, stuttering and not very personable.  I just thought I sucked, but my recruiter told me to stop being so negative!  It was my first time doing it and I’ve only been a consultant for a month and she’s been doing it for 16 years.  She said it would come to me with practice, and when I told my husband about it, he said the same thing.  I get being a people-person like my recruiter helps, but although I am introverted, I do think it’s possible to learn how to talk to people.   It’s about taking a genuine interest in them and talking to them; something that I’ve struggled with because I’ve always had trouble relating to people.  But each of us are human, each of us have our issues and it’s ridiculous to think that others are better than you when in reality, we’re all pretty much the same, just some are better actors!

My next dealing with limitations was the very next day, Friday.  I woke up not wanting to leave the house and I had to because I had work to do for my other business; I now have two clients and since they live near each other I work one in the morning and the other in the afternoon.  Anyway, I woke up just in tears because I knew I would have to leave my house and be gone for several hours.  I didn’t want to do it, but I did.  And praise the Lord, because His grace is sufficient.  It was not me that made it through the day, but His grace that got me through it.  I just must accept that there will be days that I do not want to leave my house and things may be scheduled on that day that can’t be avoided.  So, put the big girl’s panties on and make the best of it!  And that’s what I did.

I guess this post is just to say that we all have limitations, in all sorts of ways, each being unique.  But it’s what we do with those limitations that define us.  Do we let them win and just give up?  Or do we keep going and do the best we can?  There was a time that I let my limitations govern my daily life, but not anymore and that is an accomplishment I am very proud of.  Do I still have those limitations, well, of course, I was just talking about a couple of them; but, they no longer dictate my life.  I will learn to be more personable and more comfortable talking with people, I may not ever be the belle of the ball, but I don’t need to be either.  I will also learn to deal with those days I don’t want to leave the house as best as I can and put a smile on my face and with God’s grace, just muster through.  We define how we respond to the limitations life gives us, we are in control – it’s all about attitude!  Believe you can overcome and you will – it’s just that simple.

Blessings to you all,

Elizabeth

Taking inventory

Taking inventory

First, the housekeeping part of this post; I have decided to stream-line the blog a bit.  Mondays will still be posts about life and God; I’ll just be incorporating the Monday and Friday post into one single post.  Wednesdays will be a recipe day and Friday will be a DIY or homemaking project of some sort, whatever I think is a really cool idea.  And that’s the gist of it, same basics covered, just stream-lined like I said.

Ok, enough with the housekeeping; on to the point of this post.  Last night, I had a quiet night alone because my husband was “camping” in our trailer in the front yard; so the night was mine.  I was in the blessed silence, talking to God when I started to really think about how far I have come over the last five years or so.  Before I returned to God, I was a disaster.  I had an addiction and I was abusing prescription drugs in order to dull the pain I was in.  I remember taking my shower daily, crying to God begging Him to obliterate me.  No heaven or hell, just wipe me from existence.  And as that old ad once went, I’ve come a long way, baby!  Here I am now, running two businesses and at least not pulling my hair out.  I may not be racking in the dough, but I am keeping busy, and with hard work, enthusiasm and determination, I will succeed.  I have my assistant business that has become something I never intended it to be, but any good business owner will tell you, it’s all about adapting.  Then, of course, is the Mary Kay consulting business; which is so outside of my comfort zone it’s crazy.  Not so long ago, I would have told you it was ludicrous to think I would have such a business, and I have only just begun, but it is actually fun.  My husband, God bless him, doesn’t care about the money that I bring in, he wants me to have fun doing what I am doing; which is a really supportive thing for me.  He asked me the other day how one of my skin care classes went and I told him how much I sold and he said he didn’t care about that, did I enjoy it, that’s what he wanted to know.  A good husband is worth his weight in gold!

Anyway, my point is that I have changed drastically in the five or so years since I returned to God and let Him be my CEO and priority.  Do I still struggle with the bipolar?  Of course, it will be with me the rest of my life and it has an effect on how I see the world.  You see, it is very important for me to start to see the world with enthusiasm and positivity, which does not come easy for me.  I have always tended toward the negative, which I think is just basic human nature.  It takes training to think positively and to be enthusiastic about life.  It’s all about perspective.  My former minister and I had several conversations about this very thing, and he told me to carry a quarter in my pocket at all times to remind myself of one very simple idea.  That with every circumstance, there are two sides to the same thing.  There is the negative and the positive and the quarter was to remind me to change my thinking from the negative to the positive.  Not easy to do, but necessary if you want to enjoy the life God has given you and make the most of your time here on this planet.  So, if you take away anything from this post, please take away the quarter idea.  Carry one around with you as a reminder that when the negative thoughts start bombarding you, flip it over and find the positive thoughts – they are there, maybe just a whisper right now, but with practice, they will get louder!

Blessings to you all,

Elizabeth

Things have changed…

Things have changed…

Have you ever had a moment in your life when all things just change almost in an instant?  I’m going through that right now.  A month ago Mary Kay was just a name, just a company, and now it is my business.  Yes, I still have the other business of being an assistant; but, frankly I don’t like being told what to do.  I think that’s why I’ve always leaned towards being my own boss – I get to make the decisions.  But Mary Kay is quickly becoming a full-time venture and that is leaving me juggling the other things in my life, such as this blog.  I am sorry I didn’t have any posts last week, just between my debut party and the subsequent anxiety of trying to move onto the next stage of the business, I didn’t have a chance to do any writing, so I took a week off.  Additionally, this will be the only post this week because I need to re-evaluate how I am going to be doing this blog.  Posting every day may be too many times for me now, and I need to re-structure the blog to fit in with my busier schedule.  I’m not quitting the blog, just re-doing the concept of it.

When I started the blog, all I wanted was to be home; and a part of me still does and always will.  Yet, with this new Mary Kay business, I am willing to go to a stranger’s home to give a facial party or one-on-one consultation.  It is scary that I have changed so much since I started this blog.  This is not how I expected my life to evolve, yet it is what it is.  And I can tell you that giving a skin care party is a lot more fun than doing data-entry!  I wasn’t expecting to care so much about the Mary Kay business, I thought I would do it for extra cash and work on my other business, but, funnily, it has become the exact opposite.

I just wanted to touch base with everyone to let you know that I am still alive and plan on continuing the blog – just differently, I don’t know it what way yet.  I hope that all my readers will bear with me as I figure this entire thing out.  I truly never expected my life to become what it has; it is as much a shock to me as it is to my family and friends. I hope and pray that everyone can find something to be passionate about, and maybe this is just another of my flights of fantasy, which is entirely possible.  I’ve written about those before and I could very well be smack dab in the middle of one and not even be aware of it.  They are hard to recognize until they are over.  You know, hindsight is 20/20.  All I know is that right now, I care a great deal about my Mary Kay business and turning it into what I pray it will be – a full-time venture.  But you just don’t declare yourself a consultant and the money starts flowing in, Mary Kay Ash said that she created the company so that women could earn whatever the dreams and ambitions would lead them to.  I have big dreams, which in itself is disconcerting due to the whole flight of fantasy thing; but, I am truly hoping and praying that this is something that is real and doable and that I will work as hard as possible to make this thing work – at least to the level that God wants it to be.  After all, He is still my CEO in all things.

Please say a prayer for me and wish me luck in my new venture.  And I will pray and think about this blog over the next week and let you know how I’ll be restructuring it next week.

Blessings to you all,

Elizabeth

Well, I did it!

Well, I did it!

So, this past Monday I signed up to be a Mary Kay independent beauty consultant.  I spent a long time in prayer and thought it would be the right vehicle for change in my life.  I want to stop with the introverted homebody thing and break out of my shell.  Of course, all this change comes at a price – mostly in the form of anxiety.  It is something so outside of my character and also something I will have to learn how to do, this whole party giving thing.   Am I confident I can pull it off?  Not sure, but that is in God’s hands, not mine and I trust that He has my back.

My lead, the woman I signed up under, is very supportive and is helping me quite a lot.  I’m having a debut party this Friday and I’m nervous and I won’t even be doing the talking.  I just have to be there, look cute and bring the snacks.  So, I can’t imagine how I’m going to do when I am giving my own facial party, but again that is in God’s hands.

I don’t have much else to say…my mind is racing a thousand miles a minute with all these ideas, fears, you name it, it’s in there.  I really want to succeed at this but that also is in God’s hands.  I just have to work hard and pray for His grace to overcome my fears.  Wish me luck!

Blessings to you all,

Elizabeth

When life goes a complete 180 on you

When life goes a complete 180 on you

If you’ve been following my posts in any way then you know that I am working on starting a virtual assistant/bookkeeping business.  At least that was the plan, but things have not worked out like that, at all!  I have my first client and I have to go to her home to do her bookkeeping/administrative work because there is no way to do it virtually.  And I’m okay with that, don’t get me wrong.  She’s very kind and I love helping her.  Also, through her I will be meeting other women like her and potentially doing the same kind of work for them too.  It just is not how I had things planned, initially.

We do our best to plan out things, but a lot of times God has other ideas.  My business was engineered to let me be home and continue to isolate myself.  And that is what I don’t think God was down with.  And in reality, how does a person grow in anyway if they spend all their time isolated at home with their pets?  The answer is they don’t.  I have prayed for a long time to be more than what I am, and by more I mean more confident, more engaged with people, to get out of my shell.  And that is exactly what God is trying to do with me.  And I’m okay with that.  Having my business be something else isn’t what I thought I wanted, but God knows me better than I know myself and He knows what is best for me and will provide that.  On top of that, like I mentioned last week I think, I am very seriously considering becoming a Mary Kay beauty consultant, and everyone I have told has just looked at me like I’m insane, since I am such an introvert.  Now I’m not saying I can be cured of being an introvert, but I do think it’s possible to become less of one with the right support and encouragement.

All I’m saying is that how we plan life isn’t always how it ends up being.  And the best advice I can give you is to go with the flow, in short, adapt.  God has your back and I know that with His help anyone can do anything that is in agreement with what God wants for you.  There’s just having trust that God is doing what is best for you and He is, always.  It just may not look anything like you had imagined!  Because, trust me, the whole being a personal assistant to Mary Kay consultants and becoming one myself was NOT on the radar in any way, shape, or form.  But I am excited about where this is taking me, so I’ll keep you posted.

Blessings to you all,

Elizabeth