I love that word, it just sounds better than the other words describing the feeling. I learned it from a novel that I read a while ago. Here’s the definition:
- a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.
|synonyms:||boredom, tedium, listlessness, lethargy, lassitude, languor, weariness, enervation|
The reason I am sharing this word with you is because it happens to me a lot. And it is a terrible feeling, basically a feeling of nothingness, just being numb. Some days I am great, feeling like I can accomplish anything and all is right in the world. But then there are times when the ennui hits and I just lie there and stare into the empty space that is around me. I can’t explain it very well, that’s why I included the definition. Being bipolar is not fun and the mood swings are a real pain in the butt. I can handle the irritation mood, the elation mood, and all the various moods in between, but this numb feeling is very difficult for me to handle.
I don’t really have any practical advice about it either. I can wake up fine and it will just hit and I have to work through it. Usually, with a lot of tears involved. But I do get through it and that is what matters. The mood swings are difficult to handle like I said, but the silver lining is that they are temporary. It’s a matter of just being strong enough to get through it, and I have my spirituality which definitely helps. The only thing I can say about it is to just force yourself to get up and do something, anything, just keep going and you’ll feel better in time. When it hits, I have my crying time, then I say a prayer and get up and paint or write or even just clean. I also want to say that I think it is a totally normal feeling to have. Bipolars are normal; we just have the roller coaster emotions instead of the steady state of being. I know this is an odd post; I just wanted to share that this happens to me and if it happens to you, you’re going to be okay, I promise.
Blessings to you all,