Above is a picture of my beloved dog. We got her in 2006 from the SPCA and the vet we took her to said she was a Doberman mix. So, considering her German roots, I named her Gretchen Eva. She’s a great dog and I love her to death. This is something all dog owners know, when you leave home and come back, your dog is so excited to see you – like you’ve been gone for months or something. I can be gone for like five minutes and I get the same reaction from her as when I’ve been gone for hours. I think that is the one thing that is so endearing about dogs, how happy they are to see you when you get home. I have cats too and I don’t get the same reaction from them, I assure you. Also, she is wherever I am, whether in my home office, living room, doesn’t matter, she is always by my side.
Anyway, the other day I was thinking about this; how to my dog I am the greatest being alive. And I started to think how really great it would be if I thought this about myself, not the ‘I’m the greatest’ thing, but that I am worthy of such devotion. When my dog looks at me, she doesn’t see the fat, the flaws, the shortcomings – she just sees me as being perfect. That’s what I wish I could do for myself, to just accept the flaws and stop having issues about them. I am what I am, and according to everyone else I am a great person. Do I see that? No, I don’t. All I do is constantly berate myself for not being good enough at being a homemaker, a Christian, or just plain being a human.
As you know, I am working on starting a virtual assistant business and days like today, actually, I just think to myself what a fraud I am, how I am completely unprepared to do the job, to help clients. It doesn’t matter that I would do anything possible to give potential clients the best service possible, or that I would care about their business as I care for mine. I just think I am just such a fraud, that I have no idea what I am doing and why would anyone want me as a VA, when there are ones out there who really do know what they are doing. I can’t seem to give myself a break on this, and this comparititis that I have with other VA’s is detrimental. I could be comparing myself to a VA that’s been doing it for ten years; of course, he/she will know what they are doing. That’s why I want to see myself as my dog does, so that I can just give myself a break and be a whole lot more logical and reasonable about whom I am and what I have to offer. Everyone I know sees me in a way that I just don’t and I really need to work on this because there are much less talented people out there that are successful because they had the self-confidence in themselves to put themselves out there. Maybe I need to read a book or two about developing self-esteem, any recommendations? I know in Scripture (Philippians 4) God says to think on good, positive things and the peace of God will be with us. Maybe I should just take His advice, and learn to think positively!
Blessings to you all,