Things are good, yet I’m conflicted (as usual!)

Things are good, yet I’m conflicted (as usual!)

I love this picture, it’s not one of my furbabies, but I love the expression on the cat’s face, kind of like he or she is not too thrilled with getting the picture taken and I know the feeling!

My prayers have been prayers of gratitude lately.  My husband has a temporary full-time job and his side business is going well. I am praying that the job turns permanent, if it be in God’s will for it to.  I’m also praying for direction in my life.  I feel rudderless, lost and at the same time, I feel like I’m doing exactly what I was meant to do.  It’s hard to explain, but I’m very happy being a homemaker and taking care of the house, our furbabies and my husband.  I love it; the peace and contentment I feel as a result are a blessing to me.  Yet, I feel I should be doing more, what that more is, is the issue.   I have no idea what God wants me to do with my life.  Yes, I have a book to write, a story to share and things to paint to start an Etsy store but for whatever reason, I’m not really working on that right now.  And I have no idea why that is.

Please don’t take this as me complaining, because I’m not.  God has been most generous with us and I am truly grateful to be at home – because as you know that is all I want in the world, just to be home.  Maybe it’s societal pressure, or pressure from family, I don’t know; but, it seems that I should be doing more.  I’m conflicted and I don’t know how else to explain it.  I want to be a part of society and give back but the other part of me just wants to bury my nose in a good book after doing housework and just exist.  Is that wrong?  Seriously, I’m asking.

I love just being in the moment.  For a very long time, things have been unsettled, and that they are now settled, at least temporarily, is a relief.  I’ve been carrying so much worry for a long time that I am enjoying not having to worry for a while.  I know I will finish my book and start my Etsy store; I guess I’m just enjoying the peace and contentment that are so rare for someone like me.  I know this is a weird post; it’s like what’s the point of this.  I guess in the end my point is that life is good right now and it is due to God and I am just simply grateful.  When life is going good, savor it, because, unfortunately, it will not last.  That’s the nature of this world – everything is temporary!

Blessings to you all,

Elizabeth

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