I will be the first to admit that I have trouble trusting in God’s providence. I’m not proud of that lack of faith, but the last year or so have been difficult for me spiritually and emotionally. Due to personal reasons that out of respect I will not mention, I have been dealing with financial issues. I don’t care how much money we have, just that we have enough to pay the bills and have food on the table, and God has provided that every step of the way.
When I was working, the money was nice, but the emotional toll was rather expensive, to me anyway, and since I’m the one living with it, that’s all that matters. I will not work full-time ever again, period. I can’t do it, literally. I was doing my best to handle it and finally when on the brink of a breakdown, God intervened through my husband, who told me to make the job part-time or quit. Luckily, they let me go part-time, but it was a temporary job that came to an end in February. I’ve explained a few times my need to be home, that that is where I am calmest, where I am happiest. This deep-seeded need has driven my need to find a way to make money working from home, but as of this writing, I have not succeeded in that. But, I’m not giving up; God will provide a way, somehow, someway.
My point is simply that God never fails to provide. He knows exactly what we are going through financially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. And He provides exactly what we need when we need it. It has become very apparent to me recently just how perfect His providence is. My husband’s success at his new business is proof of that providence, to me anyway. I’m not sure what He wants me to do that I’ll admit. I’m not against helping financially, but I want to do it in a way that makes me happy. My mentor told me that I needed to focus on what I love to do, what I do even though I make no money doing it – that’s what you love to do. Mine is this blog, writing in general, but writing with my voice. Will my blog ever make me an income? That is for God to provide. I know my mentor and I are working on ways to do that without becoming some salesperson, because that is who I am not. I want a successful blog, as long as that blog stays true to whom I am and what I believe in. Time will tell.
Have faith that God will take care of you. That He sees all and knows what’s going on with you. That He knows every tear you have shed. I know He is with me constantly and even when He seems silent, He is still at work providing me a happy, healthy life. The supremacy of God and His son Jesus is unquestionable, to me anyway, to the best that I can believe with the faith that I have. In short, you are loved and cared for and I hope that brings you comfort.
Blessings to you all,